In The Way

Nearly four years ago, I sat down with the three ladies I was living with and we wrote out life predictions for ten years in the future. It included career goals and location, and being the virginal and innocent darlings we were, it included romance. (I do believe that of the four, just one of us is on track to fulfill that particular prediction anytime soon...)

That same semester I created my ten step career plan. It was heavily influenced by my current obsession with educational policy and the fact that I had just watched all seven seasons of The West Wing in an impossibly short amount of time. Colored by idealism and blinded by my own ambition, I designed my life on a sheet of paper. That works, right? I'm a planner.

Part of me cannot believe that moment came nearly four years ago, and part of me cannot believe that I was so naive even then. To have the arrogance to think that I could plan out even the next year, let alone lifetime, was preposterous. Things got in the way. Student teaching for a full year in Chicago got in the way. Falling in love with Hyde Park got in the way. Discovering the discouragement that exists in political policy got in the way. Moving to Romania got in the way. Breaking my ankle got in the way. Funding cuts got in the way. Men and friendships and family got in the way. And I'm incredibly grateful.

The lighted path behind me is scarred with my failings and stumbles along the way, and there are hazy paths diverging from the one I'm on. Staying in Anderson to student teach. Living elsewhere in the city. Avoiding Romania altogether. Choosing to ride a bike on that fateful morning in the city. Getting that position in Connecticut. Staying with the agency through the budget cuts. Not getting into that grad program.

I'm not sure what's ahead, but I've been struck lately by the amazing opportunities that remain forgotten dreams. Will I keep this in mind as I plan for the future? Probably not.