Corrupted

I spent some time as a substitute teacher during 5th period today, and the students weren't exactly focused on the academic task in front of them.

We got into conversations about homosexuality, what the male responsibility is after you take a woman's virginity, the absurdity of women giving "power" to men in the emotional aftermath of a hookup, Treyvon Martin, the use of condoms, and all sorts of other things that could probably get me fired in a traditional school.

On my way out the door: "Yo miss? Sorry we corrupted you."

Doc Films

A recently made but good friend of mine introduced me to Doc Films, a student film society on the UChicago campus. The theater itself is quite nice, and movies screen there every night of the week for just five dollars. They change the "themes" of the movies screened on different nights of the week each quarter, and the new season starts tomorrow.

You can also buy a pass for $30, which I will undoubtedly be doing this quarter. See the TWENTY FOUR movies I'd like to see below.

March 27- Solaris (Andrei Tarkovsky 1972)
March 28- Monty Python and the Holy Grail (Terry Gilliam and Terry Jones, 1974)
March 30- Reservoir Dogs (Quentin Tarantino, 1992)
April 11- Monty Python's The Meaning of Life (Terry Jones, 1983)
April 14- Martha Marcy May Marlene (Sean Derkin, 2011)
April 18- Time Bandits (Terry Gilliam, 1981)
April 21- We Need To Talk About Kevin (Lynne Ramsay, 2011)
April 22- Dames (Ray Enright and Busby Berkeley, 1934)
April 24- The Sacrifice (Andrei Tarkovsky, 1986)
April 25- Brazil (Terry Gilliam, 1985)
April 28- A Dangerous Method (David Cronenberg, 2011)
April 29- Meet Me In St. Louis (Vincente Minnelli, 1944)
May 1- Badlands (Terrence Malick, 1973)
May 2- A Fish Called Wanda (Charles Crichton and John Cleese, 1988)
May 5- The Artist (Michel Hazanavicius, 2011)
May 8- Days of Heaven (Terrence Malick, 1978)
May 12- Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (Tomas Alfredson, 2011)
May 15- The Thin Red Line (Terrence Malick, 1998)
May 19- The Kid With a Bike (Jean-Pierre and Luc Dardenne, 2011)
May 22- The New World (Terrence Malick, 2005)
May 23- Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (Terry Gilliam, 1998)
May 29- The Tree of Life (Terrence Malick, 2011)
June 1- Inglorious Bastards (Quentin Tarantino, 2009)
June 2- A Separation (Asghar Farhadi, 2011)

I'm pretty excited.

I've Missed You

It is odd how quickly I can become obsessed with something new. I do believe that I have two key features in my personality: obsession and overreaction. I can address overreaction at some other point in time, but suffice it to say that watching an action movie with me might not be your "cup of tea," as it were.

Obsession, though... this is something I've carried in my heart throughout my life. I have the ability to move quickly from subject to subject, and yet still register meaning and value in each area I touch. It is not as if I am glancing over things; rather I pour into them with my entire mind and heart and soul. Sometimes I stay focused, but most of the time these obsessions are quick and powerful explosions that burn bright and then dull. Occasionally I rediscover a passion and light it up again, as has happened with (various men), academic subjects, politics, television shows, and so on.

Recently, my life has been dominated by flame-out kind of obsessions. Last week it was the television show "Firefly." The show "Game of Thrones" is in my head now, though I am limiting myself somewhat. I read about two hundred pages of a book without realizing it just the other day. Regardless of all of this, I know that there will be a time, probably in the near future, when I will fall out of the television mode. I will not be in the mood for reading, and will quickly move on to another obsession. These things come and go.

Things in my life that I remain intensely focused on: family, friends, and (career) field. That's about it. I'm hoping to add one more "f" to this list.

I've recently started working out again in a regular and routine and real fashion. And it is an easy obsession to return to. This high hasn't gone away and I'm excited once more about the potential. If I can add fitness to my list before graduate school starts this summer... life might just work out to be alright.

Brought to you by alliteration. Just because, really.

Extroversion

I've written multiple times about the MBTI and the spot-on interpretation it has on my personality. In a recent conversation with a dear friend, I realized how sensitive some of these indicators are.

I am an ENFJ, and this personality type fits me perfectly. Each time I take the test, I fall relatively gently on the side of an extrovert. I need personal time, especially after big social events. Parties where I don't know people stress me out. I don't typically enjoy situations in which I am surrounded by strangers... last weekend's St. Patrick's Day festivities downtown are a case in point. However, I am a social creature. I could absolutely spend time with someone every night for the rest of my life... which leads me to believe that I need to be in a relationship soonish.

In reality though, I am at my best when I'm interactive in an intimate relationship with someone. Not necessarily a romantic relationship, just one where I'm known well, and I understand the other person at a deep level.

What does this all mean? No more living alone, stupid girl.

STUFF

On Monday morning I walked into a high school classroom for the first time since I was a high school student.

I was hired the previous Friday at Innovations High School of Arts Integration, an alternative charter school located right in the Loop. Alternative means that we work with students who haven't been successful in the regular system for one reason or another. Charter means that we operate under a private foundation (in this case Youth Connections Charter Schools) but remain a part of the public system in that we get their money. Basically... my school new school got issues. 250 of them, to be more accurate.

My job title? Literacy Tutor/Teacher's Aid. My job description? Go-to literacy consultant, Senior Portfolio master, occasional substitute teacher.

I was more nervous than I've been in a long long time. I realized that it has been a long time since I've had the need to fake confidence in a classroom. I've not been teaching for a very long time, but I suppose I have enough diverse experiences that I can walk into any elementary classroom with a certain assurance of "I've got this." I know what to expect, I know how to handle situations that arise, and I've got an arsenal of strategies and techniques at my disposal to deal with just about everything. I've not been in a high school classroom for 6 years now... and I was terrified.

So it was with fake confidence that I introduced myself to the students. It was with a false sense of security that I began to meet with individual kids. "I've got this... right?"

It helps to be sarcastic in a room filled with kids who are cutting their creative teeth. Some of my facade melted away when I got into a bit of a back and forth conversation with a student. He gave me some "lip" and I responded in kind, and from the corner heard "Damn, that white bitch got some STUFF." I had it.

I don't have to fake the confidence anymore, and I love my new job. LOVE.

Report

It's with a feeling of shame that I return to this forum of (often) gratuitous and pointless rambling. Let's see what has happened since The Great CTA Extravaganza:

1. I hurt my knee, badly enough that I'm just about to start running again. I was wearing a brace and couldn't walk much, but getting back to things soon.

2. I met a new friend who challenges me and makes fun of me and goes on outings with me. It's good to have people around.

3. My dear friend Paige came to Chicago and GOT A JOB. She got 5 of them, actually. Her husband got into UChicago a bit later in the month... and they are coming at the end of June!

4. I lost my job. And then got another one rather quickly. I love it.

5. A couch-surfing Malaysian woman stayed with me for three nights and brought me great joy.