STUFF

On Monday morning I walked into a high school classroom for the first time since I was a high school student.

I was hired the previous Friday at Innovations High School of Arts Integration, an alternative charter school located right in the Loop. Alternative means that we work with students who haven't been successful in the regular system for one reason or another. Charter means that we operate under a private foundation (in this case Youth Connections Charter Schools) but remain a part of the public system in that we get their money. Basically... my school new school got issues. 250 of them, to be more accurate.

My job title? Literacy Tutor/Teacher's Aid. My job description? Go-to literacy consultant, Senior Portfolio master, occasional substitute teacher.

I was more nervous than I've been in a long long time. I realized that it has been a long time since I've had the need to fake confidence in a classroom. I've not been teaching for a very long time, but I suppose I have enough diverse experiences that I can walk into any elementary classroom with a certain assurance of "I've got this." I know what to expect, I know how to handle situations that arise, and I've got an arsenal of strategies and techniques at my disposal to deal with just about everything. I've not been in a high school classroom for 6 years now... and I was terrified.

So it was with fake confidence that I introduced myself to the students. It was with a false sense of security that I began to meet with individual kids. "I've got this... right?"

It helps to be sarcastic in a room filled with kids who are cutting their creative teeth. Some of my facade melted away when I got into a bit of a back and forth conversation with a student. He gave me some "lip" and I responded in kind, and from the corner heard "Damn, that white bitch got some STUFF." I had it.

I don't have to fake the confidence anymore, and I love my new job. LOVE.