Highlights from 2011

It's really amazing to look back on a year, to notice growth and reflect on pain and progress. Here are the highlights from my year:

January:

Meeting someone who would fill the next 7 months of my life with happiness

February:

A visit from my dad, and travels all over Romania and to Budapest

March:

Travels to Sibiu and Sighişoara in Transylvania

April:

A spring break trip all over Romania

May:

A trip back to Oradea to meet up with the group from Anderson University and spend some time holding a baby

June:

Seeing my parents again on June 19th after getting a standby seat in Dublin

July:

Visiting with dear friends in Connecticut

August:

Getting hired and moving to Chicago

September:

Beautiful days spent at the lake front

October:

Discovering a new church community

November:

Getting to really know and love some of the people in my life

December:

Rocking an interview and getting accepted into the AUSL Teaching Residency Program

It's been a weird year.

It's Been a... While

It's 5:09 in the morning and I'm awake, again. It's been ages since I went to sleep at a decent hour (and decent for me means midnight), and there is clearly something wrong.

Self-reflection always comes at the oddest moments, hmm?

Veteran's Day

On Veteran's Day, my kids wrote letters to the former service members of a local VFW post here in Chicago. I told them that I would be "publishing" the three best letters online. Here are some of the most special ones. Of course I couldn't choose just three...

Dear Vererens,

My name is Haris B. I'm in 4th grade in goudy elementary school. I also go to Southeast Asian Center "Foster East." I have 2 interesting facts. One is that I have a friend who's dad was a soldier. My Mom and Dad were in a war. It was Bosnia vs. Serbia. They were Bosnians. Thank you for your service. Also thank you for protecting out country, plus for risking your lives to protect ours and keep them from harm. I have 3 questions. One, were you in a war when it was World War II. Second, were you in the war of Bosnia vs. Serbia. Final, were you in the Navy, Marines, Air force, or Foot Soldier.

Sincerely, Haris B.

....................................................................................................................................................................................................

Dear To Whom it May Concern,

Hello. My name is Diem. I go to Goudy School and in the 6th grade. I really like to read interesting books. My purpose of writing this letter is because I want to thank you for your service, protecting our country, and risking your lives to save our country. I am really thankful. I was wondering when you were in war did you miss your family? Were you worried that they were in trouble? How would you communicate with your family? Did you learn some surprising things about things that happened to your family while you were gone at war? I love learning about your history. I would also like to learn about what place did you take in war? Did you get hurt? Did you have any tanks, or helicopters? Learning about what you did really makes a big impact of how I thought about the past. Thank you for your time and that you for protecting our country.

Sincerely, Diem L.

...............................................................................................................................................................................................................

Dear Veteran,

My name is Justin and I'm in 6th grade, and go to Goudy School. My favorite sport is soccer. My purpose of writing this letter is to thank you for serving our country. Without you I don't know what should we do. But, you're here and I repeat thank you for your support. So I would like to ask you two questions. First, were you in the war where you had to kill Osama bin Laden? Second, what force were you in? Are you in the water, air, or ground force?

Your buddy, Justin

.............................................................................................................................................................................

Dear VFW Post 3592,

Thank you for your concern. My name is Christopher Z. I go to Goudy School and daycare Asian Center. I'm in 5th grade and my teacher's name in Goudy is Mr. Le and in the Asian Center is Mrs. Stephanie. I'm in a soccer league The Gladiators and soccer is my favorite sport. I'm Spanish and my family's from Ecuador. I'm actually kind of a shy person and I like to express my feelings just to my mom and dad. I'm bad at math but I will try to do my best. Thank you for your service and helping us protect our country United States. Thank you for protecting us from the bad people and from people in Afghanistan. Thank you for risking your life for us and so we can live for ever. Did any of your friends die? Was the war scary?

Sincerely one of your American kids, Christopher Z. (Yeah, I cried when I read that...)

.............................................................................................................................................................................

Dear Veterans,

Thank you for protecting our country from enemies. I and my class Foster East have appreciated all your hard work to protect us from the outside world. My name is Kingslove and I'm a citizen of America. You have worked every minute, every second of your life and the only way I can make it up to you is by writing this letter. Thank you for everything. I am 10 years old and I am proud to be an American. How old were you when you started? What were you in the war? Were you lonely?

Sincerely, Kingslove M.

Pretty fantastic group of kids, really. I'm hoping for a response from the VFW post- my students would be SO excited.

Public Housing No. 1

I attended a film symposium yesterday called "The Ground Up: Exploring the Right to the City." I'm about to get all policy-nerdy on you here.

Here was a description: "In the wake of economic displacement or physical devastation, how are cities rebuilt and for whom? Who has the right to decide? This film symposium explores the idea of 'the right to the city,' the collective right of communities to self-determination and equitable distribution of resources, through documentaries that highlight the organizing responses of communities working to democratize the development of urban space in Chicago and New Orleans."

In other words, I was right in my element.

Article 25 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights (signed in 1948) states:

"Everyone has the right to a standard of living adequate for the health and well-being of himself and of his family, including food, clothing, housing and medical care and necessary social services, and the right to security in the event of unemployment, sickness, disability, widowhood, old age or other lack of livelihood in circumstances beyond his control." (full text at http://www.un.org/en/documents/udhr/index.shtml)

People in this country, the "world champion" of human rights (ahem...) do not have a legal right to housing. We should point that out.

The idea of housing as a human right is certainly a very interesting idea, and one many people would agree with. A lot of what is being talked about now is a new movement (see http://www.urbanreinventors.net/) called The Right to the City. We can think about what a "right" is in two different ways. A right is something you get, but it is also the opportunity to be free from coercion... something most people living in public housing are not afforded. It is certainly a systemic issue with a lot of focus on greed... but it's an issue being tackled in cities all over the States. PHAs (Public Housing Administrations) all over the country are tearing down public housing in order to create "mixed income communities."

This is *nearly* okay, in principle. Save the fact that is is pretty insulting to think that the problems of poverty would be solved if middle class (read: white affluent) values could just "rub off" onto the poor people like catching cooties... the idea is alright on paper. The problem is that these communities are incredibly difficult to get into, they are run by private companies, and there is a fractional percentage of the units available to subsidized renters. In the case of the infamous Cabrini Green Projects in Chicago, the new mixed income communities that were created had just a few units available for the THOUSANDS of families who were displaced when Cabrini was torn down.

Additionally, the practices of mixed-income lending communities are not exactly scrupulous either. There is a mandatory FBI Background check for all subsidized renters, not required of market-rate renters or owners. There are drug tests for subsidized renters. There is no access to the garage in some communities if you are a renter in a public unit. Condo associations are only for owners, but their rules apply to all the renters. If a subsidized renter (or a member of their family) has one lease violation, they are evicted and off of public housing assistance- it's a one strike system. Certainly a lot of disparity.

I'll probably be writing a lot about this in the coming weeks. My biggest question now is regarding the humanity of the people behind this question. How can the mayor stand up and flat out LIE to people about finding them housing? How can the government develop policies that systematically disenfranchise those who need the most support? How can people live with the morality of choosing money over human lives? It's incredibly frustrating.

Book List

A list of books I hope to read before next... hmm, June 11th.

Just a random date for now :)

1. Their Eyes Were Watching God- Zora Neale Hurston

2. To the Lighthouse- Virginia Woolf

3. The Bell Jar- Sylvia Plath

4. Atlas Shrugged- Ayn Rand

5. Madame Bovary- Gustave Flaubert

6. Jane Eyre- Charlotte Bronte

7. The Delta of Venus- Anais Nin

8. A Good Man is Hard to Find (And Other Stories)- Flannery O'Connor

9. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings- Maya Angelou

10. Sophie's Choice- William Styron

11. Love in the Time of Cholera- Gabriel Garcia Marquez

12. The Things They Carried- Tim O'Brien

13. Crime and Punishment- Fyodor Dostoevsky

14. A Tale of Two Cities- Charles Dickens

15. Little Women- Louisa May Alcott (this one I've read, but it's my favorite Christmas-time book!)

In no particular order.

Random Thoughts

Thoughts in my head:

1. I cannot believe it has been two weeks since I last blogged. A lot has happened, naturally.

2. Work is beginning to stress me out in a very real and annoying way. It's not the kids or the family or the mission of the agency... it's about the management. When a child is dying, you call am ambulance. When you have an incredibly high teacher turnover, you start to look at the common denominator. When you have really unhappy staff members, you make connections between happy teachers and well-served kids. When you have people call in sick, you hire actual subs instead of just pulling teachers out of their own classrooms. I am so incredibly tired of it.

3. I have an interview for a part-time tutoring position on Tuesday. This could be a really great way to supplement income and improve my actual teaching skills. It is with a well known and reputable tutoring company in the city, which is an awesome match and hopefully a good opportunity.

4. I should be finding out sometime this month if I get an interview for the Master's Degree/Residency Program I applied to. It would be so fantastic to finish up this step of the process.

5. My mom came this past weekend. She was, as always, fantastic. She also facilitated my first visit to the Chicago Goodwill :)

6. I got a big mirror. A big beautiful rectangular wooden mirror.

7. Said mirror is causing a problem in my apartment. I want to hang it in the middle of my long wall, but I already have BBB (beautiful black man... a drawing Ean did) hanging next to my bed. Avoid those nasty comments, please. What to do?

8. Speaking of Ean, you should all love him as much as I do.

9. I've recently realized how incredibly important family is to me. I've always felt close to my family, but this is different. I'm starting to look at the future Stephanie more and more, and having my family involved in the life of my future family is becoming a massive priority.

10. It's nearly November. Holy moly.

Sacrifice

As I was leaving my apartment at 6:15 in the morning earlier this week, I was struck by a profound sense of the tranquility of my city home. My feet crunching the dry leaves as I tread, breathing in the crisp autumn air... I felt at peace. It was a different kind of feeling, one I've not experienced in the city for quite some time. Often I allow myself to get so immersed in the "real" things of life... my commute, my job responsibilities, my financial situation and what to cook for dinner... and entire days and weeks pass by without notice. These things are what define the course of our lives, but it is the smaller tastes of comfort that sustain it. Definition is only as good as the sustainability plan keeping it moving, and this moment of peace was my sustenance for this crazy week.

As I thought more about this, I reflected on why I was able to enjoy a moment of calm in the midst of everything... it is because I was out of my apartment early in the morning. I sacrificed my sleep and my comfort and my warm bed, and in return I found a bit of contentment that powered my day. I have sacrificed aspects of my personality, I have given up some specific career plans, and I have surrendered the part of me that had to have everything all worked out. These things were not easy to give up... but they were necessary on the path towards living a sustainable lifestyle. Perhaps true peace requires sacrifice? What in your life have you surrendered in order to gain a sense of "rightness" with the world?