Refresh

Sometimes life just gets a little bit frozen. You think you are somewhere and then the world comes crashing down in a moment and you realize that you are absolutely nowhere. You are a little girl lost in a big city with no job and no idea what to do.

And then somewhere, someone hits the refresh button. The first step is realizing that you aren't lost, and that sense of home you feel is unbelievably comforting and in a way sustaining. The second step is the inclusion of new people into your life, people who bring joy and happiness and above all a sense of safety. The third step is action, movement, productivity. The fourth step is waiting waiting waiting. The fifth step is getting hired back at your old workplace and realizing that getting let go in the first place might have been the best thing to happen to you.

It was on Friday, September 9 that I was told I no longer had a job. In the midst of budget slashing and disparaging funding cuts, my position was no longer sustainable at the South-East Asia Center. Go home now, and don't come to work on Monday... there really isn't anything for you.

And it was on Wednesday, September 21 that I was rehired at the South-East Asia Center as a school age teacher. I will be assisting with a social-work project in the morning and then taking over a classroom of fourth, fifth, and sixth grade students each afternoon. Thirty-two awesome kiddos are waiting for me after school everyday, waiting for the creativity and support and structure and mentoring and happiness I hope to provide.

The changes and tumultuous nature of the last few weeks has been coupled by beautiful new things and the start of something incredible and a deeply rooted sense of stability.

I discovered stability in the neighborhood I live in and feel at home in. I discovered stability in my family, the people I count on to carry me through difficulty. I discovered stability in my friends and their constant show of love. I discovered stability in my faith, in the God who constantly is revealed in the exquisite beauty of the people around me. Above all, I discovered stability in the person I am. Situation cannot knock down my experience, circumstance cannot quell my passion, and trouble cannot shake the foundation of who I am and what I have to offer the world. For the first time in my life I am truly stable... and this solid ground feels good.