A**holes Finish First?

I have been reading the infamous "Atlas Shrugged" by Ayn Rand for about two weeks now. I really want to soak it all in so I've been forcing myself to take time... plus it's a really giant book that sometimes makes me angry. At any rate, my mind has been on overdrive for a while, and I decided this past weekend that I needed some time off.

This is the part where the (more) infamous Tucker Max and his most recent book "Assholes Finish First" comes in. Lacking in intellectualism yet decidedly witty and smart, it's filled with anecdotes about parties and fame and women and, in general, being an asshole.

And yet... I really liked it. And him. Enough to finish the 400 page book in the span of about 7 hours, and think a lot about this whole concept. I hear it all the time... why do women go for men like this?

Societal norms dictate that men pursue women. It's traditional for a man to chase after a woman. It's said that he likes the challenge of having to "win" someone, the conquering feeling of finally "capturing" his desired. I used to dismiss this as socialized nonsense... and then I found myself doing the exact same thing from an opposite psychological perspective. I found myself drawn to men with a frosty exterior in a lot of ways. Not that I want someone to be a real jerk or withdrawn, but there is something alluring about the aloof figure. (Jane agreed with me... Mr. Darcy, anyone?) And in the same way that "winning" a woman is a challenge men rise to meet, it is more of an accomplishment for a woman to win the affection of someone who doesn't hand it out easily. So men, THAT is why women are attracted to assholes. We are all just too optimistic, hoping that there is a really good guy under all of the nonsense. Because when there is... it's fantastic. There is also a certain security... someone who is that careful with his own feelings is certainly going to be careful with mine, right? Maybe we are a bunch of socialized idiots... but so are you.

So while I disagree that assholes actually do finish first (other than in the not-so-cleverly hidden sexual way meant here), it is true that most every woman wants a tough exterior and a warm squishy inside... but we also want the satisfaction of having to work hard to access that.